Sunday, December 16, 2007

Everything Really is Bigger in Texas!

We just tore through 4 states like we were a five year-old shredding the gift wrap on a present on Christmas morning (or, as I like to call it, "Holiday morning"). The past 2 days were all about making time so we could slow down in time to enjoy the Southwest before heading up through California and into Oregon. Texas was the final state on our get-the-hell-through-this-state-as-fast-as-possible tour. I thought it was all just bravado--a bunch of cowboys bragging about the size of everything in their state because they were overcompensating for their lack of, well, you know...but, you know what, it's true--everything is bigger in Texas! We saw the biggest, gaudiest rest area I've ever seen*, something advertised as the largest cross in the western hemisphere (although it struck me as a little macabre--I mean, I hardly think, say, Marie Antoinette would be looking down from heaven and nodding approvingly at a giant MDF guillotine--but, hey, different strokes), the biggest douche-bag of a president the U.S. has ever had, and, thanks to a couple of tire-tracked deer carcasses, they even beat out Tennessee for biggest roadkill. Way to go Texas! You should be proud. I'm so ready for New Mexico.

*Actually the rest area, enormous as it was, was pretty cool and had some interesting information about wind power, canyons, and buffalo lineage. See, I can give credit where credit is due!

1 comment:

Abrxas said...

Ah, Texas, what's not to love? You're right, of course, about the compensating piece....I take great joy in knowing that despite their oversized egos and stupid hubristic motto, size-wise Alaska KICKS THEIR ASS! Hell, there's even more oil up there. (Put that in your belt buckle and cinch it, JR.)