Saturday, December 15, 2007

The Bible Belt Tightens: Juggling Jesus and Jenna Jameson in Arkansas

We took off from Nashville around 8:30 a.m. and drove through West Tennessee in a blinding rain. Today was a driving day, as we decided to save our sightseeing for the Southwest and push through all of Arkansas and half of Oklahoma before stopping in OK City for the night. Boy, Arkansas loves its God. Not since the lady at the welcome center in Tennessee tried to convince us of the miracle of Christmas had I witnessed Southern Baptism in its full glory. But if Tennessee Welcome Center Lady was the face of New Testament peace and love, Arkansas' billboards were Old Testament, smiting God stuff. Consider the following message on one of the many billboards lining I40 in Arkansas:

Use a rod on your children and save their lives: Jesus Saves.

Make up your mind; Is it the rod or is it Jesus? That particular billboard made me a little nervous so it wasn't until we drove past another billboard advertising X - Adult Superstore that I was able to relax. Arkansasans can hold two opposing views in their minds after all--whew, what a relief! Since we pretty much just drove, I don't have much else to report except I noticed a difference in the roadkill between Tennessee and Arkansas. Tennessee seemed to have a lot more large animals splayed down the fog strip--coyotes, deer and such, and, strangely, large birds. Arkansas, however, seemed to have predominately smaller varmints' guts littering the shoulder. I'm not sure what this means yet, but I'm tired so I think I'll sleep on it. Next--Oklahoma is just OK...

1 comment:

Abrxas said...

Dude, your posts are hilarious. I'm glad you decided to blog the trip.