Friday, October 31, 2008

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Blank the Blanker

by Steven Weber

How you doin'? I'm _______ the _______.

You may have heard the candidates mentioning Joe the Plumber on their various stumps, making that guy a household word and whatever. A hero to some and an instant punch line to others. Sure, he's lost his privacy and whatever integrity he may have had before he became Joe the Plumber, back when he was only Samuel the Not Yet the Plumber, but since when does anyone need privacy or integrity if they're gonna be famous? He's probably gonna end up with a lucrative coloring book deal and his own show on HGTV or Spike or something.

read the rest here.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Goodbye Boomers...

...and good riddance

Monday, October 27, 2008

Voting for Obama

by Craig Barnes

In 1952, when I was 16, my father was stationed in the Air Force in London. I was dating a general's daughter. I can still remember her kisses. They were luscious and the best experience to that point of my young life. Then one night in early September, just after a new American high school opened, I received a call from the girl's father, the general.
"Hello, Craig, it's General Kessinger. I understand you are planning a dance for the high school students at the American Teen Club,"
"Yes, sir." I said, "I am working on it." I had never had a call from a general before.
"This coming Saturday night?"
"Yes, sir."
"I don't suppose you will be allowing Negras to come to that dance, will you?"
There was a long pause at my end.
"Yes, sir," I finally said. "They are in school too. It would be only fair."
"It is not our custom to mix the races," he said, "not socially."

read the rest here.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Friday, October 24, 2008

Best. Ad. Ever.

Ah, Mormons

As Nikki said this morning, "you'd think the Mormons would be more tolerant of alternative lifestyles."

My theory is this supposed gay threat to traditional marriage conflicts with their MLM style religion--without procreation their downlines are in jeopardy.

Whatever the reason, if these bigots choose to involve themselves so heavily in politics they ought to be taxed like any other business (oops, did I just suggest that religion is a business?)...

Prop 8: California gay marriage fight divides LDS faithful
The church's effort against gay marriage is its most vigorous since 1970s

By Peggy Fletcher Stack
The Salt Lake Tribune

The thought of going to church in her southern California LDS ward makes Carol Oldham cry. She can't face one more sermon against same-sex marriage. She can't tolerate the glares at the rainbow pin on her lapel.

Oldham, a lifelong Mormon, is troubled by her church's zeal in supporting a California ballot initiative that would define marriage as between one man and one woman. She feels the church is bringing politics into her sanctuary.

"It has tainted everything for me," Oldham said, choking up during a telephone interview. "I am afraid to go there and hear people say mean things about gay people. I am in mourning. I don't know how long I can last."

read the rest here.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

A Message from Ron Howard

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die


by David Sedaris
October 27, 2008

I don’t know that it was always this way, but, for as long as I can remember, just as we move into the final weeks of the Presidential campaign the focus shifts to the undecided voters. “Who are they?” the news anchors ask. “And how might they determine the outcome of this election?”

Then you’ll see this man or woman— someone, I always think, who looks very happy to be on TV. “Well, Charlie,” they say, “I’ve gone back and forth on the issues and whatnot, but I just can’t seem to make up my mind!” Some insist that there’s very little difference between candidate A and candidate B. Others claim that they’re with A on defense and health care but are leaning toward B when it comes to the economy.

I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?

read the rest here.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Truth About ACORN

I admit I'm a bit election obsessed but this one is SO important...spread the word...

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Cold Political Calculation

So, there you go. Any person with any self-respect and half a brain who votes for this tool is officially off my x-mas list...


...but no reason to become complacent...

The economics of reporting polls
October 17th, 2008, 11:49am by Sam Wang

The only thing happening in the Meta-Analysis is a slight, slow widening of Obama’s lead. Some of you want to know about individual polls, such as a recent Gallup national poll showing Obama ahead by only +2% (standard likely-voter model) or +6% (high-turnout model). I confess that I tend to ignore individual polls because of the statistical variability. So it didn’t occur to me to care about this particular data point. Obama is still crushing McCain, period.

But there is a lesson to be learned here: It is not in the interest of individual pollsters or media organizations for you to have the most accurate possible picture of the horserace. Here is why.

Read the rest here.

Dumb but good for a chuckle

Thursday, October 16, 2008

HBO Presidential Debate

Now this is funny...

Was There Too Much Sex And Profanity In The HBO Presidential Debate?

John McCain Naked

Michael Seitzman is one of my new favorite political writers...

It was like A Tale of Two Smiles last night -- It was the best of us, it was the worst of us. One man was a study in calm. The other was a study in batshit crazy.

I kept thinking of that line in As Good As It Gets, when Jack Nicholson says, "You make me want to be a better man." Honestly, I know how foo-foo this makes me sound but Obama makes me want to be a better man. Maybe I did drink the kool-aid, but you know what? Jimmy-crack-corn.

read the rest here.